Crazy Mixed Up Fun

Shama was enjoying his new job as Lucerne’s Building Control Officer. He was unqualified for the role but they were in desperate need, and his casual labour experience had somehow made him top contender.

He pulled a file from the stack that arose from his desk towards the heavens. It was marked “GIANT SCULPTURE” and stamped “STAGE ONE APPROVED”.

Details however were scanty. There was an undated MOA, Memorandum of Understanding, between Lucerne Village and Guru Baba’s office saying that a “giant sculpture” could be built “in the centre of the valley” whose “precise form and dimensions are yet to be determined.” The document was yellowed, with strong key impressions and whiteouts, with no diagrams or illustrative references. It seemed manually typewritten many years back.

How could a giant structure be approved without any details at all? For all they knew it could be a giant swastika, or a huge phallus. Someone was just pushing problems down the line. The buck must stop somewhere, and as BCO it was most likely with him.

No wonder the previous guy had disappeared. It seemed he was mixed up in shady business, letting people build whatever they wanted, probably in exchange for “donations” from Guru Baba’s people or construction companies. But would Guru Baba, one of the world’s leading holy men, really be involved in a dodgy scheme? It was probably the builders.

Shama had seen a large scaffold near the middle of the valley, and trucks entering the worksite, and also a crane. Good for them, he’d thought back then, creating high-paying local jobs. It must be there. They may have half-built it already; he had better take a look.

The security guard wouldn’t let him on site. He called the project manager, who roared up ten minutes later. He was an Indian fellow wearing an orange hard hat. “Hello, I am Karamchand. I hear you are the new BCO. Are you new in town? Welcome to the valley!”

Shama was surprised by his friendliness; he was not surly or secretive at all. “I am interested in the sculpture construction,” he said. “How is Stage One progressing?”

“It is taking longer than we expected.” Karamchand winked at Shama. “But who is counting, hey?”

So there is some funny business, thought Shama. Stretching out the construction schedule, drawing out funds. Maybe it’s money laundering.

Shama felt that he should leave, but his curiosity got the better of him. He said, “What is it going to be? My documents seem to be incomplete.”

The complex scaffold gave no clue to the hidden structure’s purpose. What he discerned was a huge cube and wheel. He had heard the expression “squaring the circle”. Was it something to do with that?

“Oh yes, of course. You are new. I have only been working on the project for ten years myself, but I will tell you what I know.” Shama looked around. The entire construction crew was Indian.

“Guru Baba has designed the structure based upon Vedic mathematics, with associated mantras and yantras built into the forms. It is a fusion of East and West, and inspired by the word fun, which means art in Hindi. It is a Rubik’s Cube with four hundred and thirty two faces, each one of which rotates in turn – one every thousand years. Its structural dynamics and electromagnetics ensure that there will be zero wear and tear.

“All permutations are accounted for. In four hundred and thirty two thousand years, it will complete one cycle, and mark the end of Kali Yuga – the current Dark Age. Of course we are part way through this Age already, so we will start the cycle five thousand years in. I will detail all this for you in the Stage Two MOA.”


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