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A few years ago I decided that life is too short and precious to not follow our dreams. So I spent three years exploring the world’s holy places. It was a serious journey, but a fun one, visiting 24 places in all. I have used my eight favourites as the basis for this story of my search for truth:

Infinite city. My religion is the consumption of young London. Too many things to do tonight, every night, where do I stop? Looking for a simpler path, I find a trail of sacred numbers.

Seven chakras. Varanasi’s burning bodies entrance me, and “pure vegetarian” food cooked in cremation ash sure hits the spot. But then a one-legged holy man tells me to fuck off.

Six histories. I totally fail to scale Fuji’s perfect cone and almost get arrested. However my spirit is replenished at a fertility festival, where sweet sake is ladled by shrine maidens.

Five dimensions. Sitting within Teotihuacan’s Piramide del Sol, I reflect upon the relative merits of last week’s floating fiesta versus this week’s party in the taco factory.

Four arms. At Lalibela in Ethiopia, an ancient golden cross is stolen during my stay. Young boys are dazed, old men are jailed; rather than helping, my foolishness generates tears.

Three mountains. I explore the isolated world of Rapa Nui and meet its powerful inhabitants: a generous grandmother, a handsome surfer, and a leprous sculptor chiselling Moai.

Two sides. High above the Oracle of Delphi, I feast and philosophize with Mountain Man Lambros. He is a generous host and drunken monster: both Apollo and Dionysus in one.

One life. Meditating alone within the Great Pyramid of Giza, my mind is ignited by cosmic fires. Universal dissolution is only narrowly averted by a touch of the “hand of God”.

No one. I enjoy the hospitality of Bedouin hustlers, living in their tomb-shop-cave. But soon I cast off the ruined facades of Petra, to find peace in the empty deserts they guard.

End point. I find my way to a small village in Canada on the edge of the wilderness, somewhat like Lucerne. It is a place to end and to begin again.